6 - What Am I Doing? -

I'm currently grappling with a sort of faith dilemma. It might not rise to the level of a crisis, but it's definitely got me thinking. What's got me puzzled is this blog of mine. I haven't been writing as much as I had planned. Could this be a sign that writing a blog isn't what God wants me to do? Or am I simply a chronic procrastinator? The initial excitement I felt after feeling the calling has faded. The church members I hoped would guide me in deepening my Christian faith never appeared. My religious fervor has dwindled and my intertest in being involved with the innerworkings of the church have waned. It's making me reconsider if my calling is to serve the church or to focus solely on serving God in some way that has yet to be revealed.

My urge to document my religious insights and experiences has diminished. Is this even something I'm meant to do? After all, God didn't explicitly tell me to start this blog. Was it presumptuous of me to believe others would be interested in my spiritual journey? Did I start my journey too early? Am I meant to "Spread His word" at a later date?

God did call on me to spread His word, but I'm uncertain if this blog is the right platform for that. I've prayed for clarity, but I haven't received a clear answer yet. Perhaps what I'm meant to do will become evident in due time. For now, all I can do is wait and see.

Meanwhile, I'm setting up an ecommerce site to sell t-shirts, initially of a non-religious nature. However, for fun, I've designed a few that might resonate with Christians. One design features a white cross on a black t-shirt, symbolizing Christ's purity against the backdrop of sin and chaos. The colors hold significance; the white represents Christ's purity, while the black signifies sin, contrasting with the cross as a symbol of hope and light.

On the back of this shirt, I've included Mark 5:36, "Do not be afraid; just believe." This verse has been a source of strength for me early in my journey.

Could this be a way that God wants me to spread His word — through t-shirts? Sounds silly now that I think of it, but It's a possibility. For now, I'll continue to pray for God to reveal His plan. I'm patient and willing to wait for as long as it takes.

God bless.